Day 5

Dear Cora, You have shown me the true Cora today. A day on the town and playing in the garden has shown me exactly what you can do and how happy you are. You love everything about life and seem to get all the attention that you want from everyone you meet. I believe you have a special gift to touch the hearts of everyone you meet, even if they are not ready for it. I have also learned that you can outrun me with no effort!

Today is a free day. We get to sleep in, play in the bath, and spend the day as we wish until Sophie calls us. We eat in the room, play in the garden area, walk around the hotel, and go to McDonalds. Every child has to love McDonalds, nope. Cora does not want to eat but does not want to throw it away so we take it home. Cheryl and I decided that it would be so nice just to sit back and enjoy the day in the garden and eat chocolate so we look for a market. 7/11? There is a 7/11 in China. It is not quite like ours but is always nice to see something familiar to us. We decide on Haagen-Dazs ice cream.

Cora loved the garden and running around. We had workers ask if we needed anything but they stayed to watch her. She kept going to the fountain and wanted to play in the water; finally I gave in and started to play in the water with her. If only I could explain to you the looks on the faces of those watching us. Soon there were many more workers gathered to watch Cora play. There was an Englishman that was trying very hard to work on documents and talk on the phone. I kept apologizing to him for our behavior and Cora soon figured out how much I was worried. She decided that he was her new target. She was soaking wet. Documents plus leather brief case plus wet child equals disaster! Of course Cora touches his heart and he starts watching and laughing at her. Every time we ran into him for the rest of the day he had to wave, smile, and ask how she was doing. My ice cream melted during this adventure but Cora still wanted hers. I tried to get her to sit on the swing and eat but she had a different plan. She walked the garden looking at everything and ate.

Today was a great day but we have to pack and get ready for our flight to Guangzhou. Cora helped pack by unpacking everything I put in. Finally getting the top closed we kept her from emptying it by letting her climb on it. We are all tired and even little Cora feel to sleep quickly on the floor after another bath.

Day 4

Dear Cora, We are so amazed to see how smart you are. You are so eager for us to understand you. To hear new English words every day! You want to be a part of everything. Pointing at things and talking to me as if I can understand it all. We have walked around the garden in the hotel many times looking for something… it turned out to be a bird. You wanted to hear him sing. There are so many “firsts” ahead of you.

Today we were invited to visit the orphanage but decided against it. We all agree that it would be very hard for Cora.  The adjustment is not going as smooth as we had hoped. We do not want to set things back to the beginning.

We decided to visit Cora’s finding spot. This turned out to be much more emotional for me than I thought. This is a private matter that we will not share.

After our visit, we toured different areas of Ningbo so we could get a feel of what it would be like to live here. We walked downtown to see the shops and markets. This is where the workers that commute to the factories or someone who lives locally would shop. We walked through a park called Moon Lake (or West Lake). It was more beautiful than we could imagine. There were small islands with connecting bridges, flower gardens, and great examples of Chinese architecture. The hardest parts of trying to enjoy the sites are the stares. They start staring when they see two white women with a Chinese baby, then when we get closer they see that Cora is disabled. They talk, stare, some will pull aside our translator to talk, and some will talk right in front of us as if Cora cannot understand.  She understands every word and is soon ready to go. Food always makes her feel better so Sofia talks her into going to lunch. We chose a casual restaurant close to the park. Cora was acting out quite a bit by the time we arrived and was seated. She was keeping the people beside us busy worrying about what she was doing. We were seated by a window. Soon there were people gathering, and then lining up. We are learning that people are either not used to seeing disabilities or are just rude. We took our time eating lunch and then went back to the hotel.

The bathtub is our saving grace. Cora starts getting upset as soon as we enter the room. We can just ask her if she wants a bath and she instantly gets excited. I will sit as long as she is willing just so I can see her laugh and play.  This is my favorite part of the day.

Sophie came back later to help us finish up some paperwork. She is going to take the train back to Hangzhou so we can enjoy the day with Cora tomorrow instead of taking the train and having another long hard day. Sophie is so good to us. She stayed and translated the letter the Ayias wrote for Cora, one to us, and asked Cora some questions that we wanted to know about how she was doing and if there was anything we could do to help her or make her happy. The answer always seems to be candy!

Day 3

 

Dear Cora,
You have such a great personality, are so strong, and so full of life. I am starting to see the little girl that you are going to be. I love your spark and energy. You cannot sit still; always trying to figure out what is going on and taking control. You are so smart; learning English after only a few days. You are a perfect fit for our family and I am starting to see that you may soon be happy with us.

We got up early today so we had plenty of time to make it to our Civil Affairs appointment to finalize our adoption of Cora. It was very hard to wake Cora because she had such a bad nights sleep. I was very surprised when she woke up and decided that I was her mommy and Auntie Cheryl should not touch her anymore. It was great that Cheryl was able to comfort Cora, but I am so happy to be able to hold her.

It has been a long time since I have carried a child and tried to make a plate while keeping her hands out of everything. I feel like I have never done this before. I am so out of shape! Thank goodness for Auntie Cheryl. She helped make all of our plates, ran for new things for Cora to try, and still found the time to eat her breakfast. One thing that I can say is that with all that Cora has been through she really loves to eat.

Returning to the Civil Affairs office was a huge worry for me. I can tell that Cora is tolerating me because she knows she has no other choice. She watches everyone and every now and then she leans as if she hopes they will take her. She wants to be held but she wants to sit by herself. It breaks my heart to see her this way. I worry that as soon as we walk in the building that she is going to break down again. Amazingly she was very quiet but she does OK. I sign some more papers, take a pledge to care for her as if she was my own and give her all the rights of a child that was born to me, and take some pictures. Now it is official, Cora ShuYan is legally our daughter.

We already had our bags in the taxi so we could leave the Civil Affairs Office and go straight to the train station … we were on our way to Ningbo. My goodness, how I dislike train stations. I have never traveled by train in the US so I have nothing to compare them to. Going down steps with two suitcases and carrying a child to have to go up again just does not make since to me. Poor Cheryl, trying to take some of my luggage to help me and me having a hard time carrying a child and pulling my suitcases. Thank God that a young man took pity on us and helped with our bags. I am not sure if we would have ever made the train.

On the train to Ningbo we finally got to see some of the real Cora come through. She is almost always distracted by food. She seemed fairly content looking around and picking at the snacks we brought with us. She wants to eat trail mix, well at least the M&M’s out of them. She wants one after another and must do it by herself like a big girl. She ends up with most of it on the floor, her lap, and all over her seat. Many people are not real happy seeing this. There is an elderly man sitting behind us. He keeps playing with her. He speaks a little English and asks about Cora. He is the first Chinese person that tells us they are happy that we are adopting a Chinese child. He is very grateful that we are loving and caring for her. This child never stops moving and is getting hard to keep happy so I start picking her up over my head and dropping her towards my face. She starts laughing like crazy. This is the first time we have seen her smile much less laugh. I cannot get enough. We are now totally the center of attention but for the first time I do not care. This is the child the ayis at the orphanage described to us.

We are excited to finally be in the city that my daughter has spent her whole life. We are hoping to see her orphanage but we are starting the think it is a bad idea. Cora is having such a hard time adjusting to us. We will make that decision when we know if Enmei will even allow us to visit. We are very happy to finally be at The Crown Plaza City Center Ningbo Hotel; our home for the next few days.

 

 

Day 2 Gotcha Day!

Dear Cora,
This has been a day I have waited for so long and I am so glad it is here but it has been the hardest day that I (and probably you) have ever lived through. I am so sorry to have broken your heart when I took you from the only family that you have ever known but I hope it will heal and you will learn to love us as much as we love you.  I promise that we will love you unconditionally, forever, and  give you all that you will ever need for the rest of your life.

I woke up every hour worried that I was going to over sleep. Finally at 2:30 am China time we got up, ate, showered, and tried to keep busy until it was time to meet Emma. The hotel had a great buffet. It was like eating at a restaurant. People were there cooking as well as having prepared food. They had American and Chinese style food. We were not feeling very adventurous. After breakfast, Cheryl and I went for a walk around the hotel and took some pictures.

 When we arrived at the Civil Affairs Office we sat in a big room with a red banner across the back. We waited while Emma went to find out how the day was going to work. There was another family waiting for their daughter. I think they were from North Carolina. We traded stories about our adoption processes. I felt very rude because I was so distracted waiting and looking for Cora. We worked on our paperwork while we waited for our children. There were only 4 children to be adopted today. The family from North Carolina’s daughter came first. She was asleep when she arrived and stayed that way for the whole time they were in the Civil Affairs Office. It was so beautiful to see the parents get to look her over; her fingers, her face, her feet. She seemed so content. Then a little boy arrived but his parents were not here yet. He was adorable! He had very chubby cheeks and was happy watching what was going on in the office while his Ayis took care of his paperwork. Cora was the third child to arrive. At 10:20 Cora finally came through the door. She was so cute and very scared. They walked up tp me an just gave her to me. Tried to give he to me would be a better way to say it. She was not dealing with the fact that she was going to me and not staying with her Ayi. This was her favorite Ayi. She was in all of the pictures we got of Cora. You could tell by the look on Cora’s face that she knew what was happening.  Cora did not want me to touch her and would not come to me. The Ayi and director talked to Cora and showed her pictures of us in the photo album we sent. Cora knew our names and was saying that I was her mama but would not let me touch her. They offered Cora her favorite snacks to distract her so I could take her. Nothing worked. They spent quite a bit of time trying to coax her to me. Finally they told me I had to take her and just let her scream, and that she did at the top of her lungs. She screamed for her “mama” until we left. I have had two children and have lived through my share of temper tantrums but I have never seen anything like this. She arched her back, pushed away from me, pulled her hair. She was crying so much that she was getting over heated. He skin was blood red. She started to sound as if she was hyperventilating. I was asked to take her to a different room because she was so disrupting. I walked with her, bounced her, talked to her, and hummed… anything I could think of. Nothing worked. This was the most heart wrenching thing I have ever had to do. I loved her so much already and there was nothing I could do for her. If anyone walked by she would try to go with them. Total strangers; anyone was better than me. Cheryl came over to the room we were in to ask me about the gifts for the children because the Ayis were leaving and Cora even wanted to go to her. I was so scared when they finally said it was time to go because I never thought she would stop crying. She started calming down as we walked out of the building and instantly stopped crying when we went outside. She was so wide eyed watching everything!

We had to walk down the street to find a photo shop so we could take pictures of us (our first family photo) for the adoption certificate. Then a short walk to a taxi to find a market for needed items to care for Cora. Emma asked Cora what she wanted/ is used to eating. She asked for a bottle! The Ayis said she was still getting formula but I was surprised from a bottle at 5 years old. She asked for chocolate for being a big girl because they promised her I would buy it for her. ANYTHING to make her happy.

Cora was very scared in the car. Emma had to talk to her constantly to keep her from screaming. Simple questions like her favorite color, what she likes to do, toys she likes, etc.

As soon as we get to our hotel room she starts crying again. We put her on the bed with a lot of her toys trying to get her mind off of things. It worked for a little while. The I pod was her favorite; she was not much interested in the toys. The sucker was a good choice. Later we tried the bath just because we had run out of ideas and she loved it. She laughed and talked and sang and played and it was the most amazing thing I have ever seen. I was so relieved that we found something that worked to make her happy.

Cora does not like the bed. We try to get her to play and copy what we are doing to get her to prepare for bed. She cried and screamed; finally I just let Cheryl take her because that is where she wanted to be. I needed her to be happy. I will worry about bonding later.  It is breaking my heart to hear her cry so much. She went to sleep finally. I hope things get better for her soon.

Day 1

Dear Cora,
It is so exciting to finally be on my way to china to bring you home. We have waited so long to get to meet you, to hold you, and to love you forever.

It was very hard to get out of the car and leave my family behind. I wanted to have everyone there to say good bye. Once I was in the airport the excitement of being on my way to get my daughter and bring her home took over. I will be holding her in one more day!

The flight went faster than I thought it would. I watched a few movies, read my book, and ate often. I think they were trying to keep us busy by feeding us. The flight was about 7,100 miles in 14hours (give or take a few min).

When we arrived, our guide Sofie was waiting for us. She was very nice and ready to help. She helped bring our suitcases to the taxi. The train station was next to the other airport that was about an hour away. Sofie got the tickets while we waited. The trains run every hour or so but they were full so we had to wait 3 hours for a train. We told Sofie we were good and she could go home, there was no reason for her to wait too. She was happy to stay and talked to us about all that we could do, where to eat, and who to ask for help. We did finally talk her into believing we would be OK if she left.

 Waiting was horrible! We were so tired we were falling asleep sitting in our chairs. There was nothing we could do because we would have to drag all of our luggage with us. We did a lot of people watching, they like to watch us too. Then we decided it was time to get up and move or take a chance on falling asleep and missing out train. We went in search of a bathroom with all luggage in tow. Of course they were squatty potties. It is always a new adventure. Ukraine had them too but we were lucky that we always could find a normal toilet when we needed one. Not so lucky this trip. I am just going to say that as a woman our bodies are not capable of shooting a straight steam and it is almost impossible to judge where you need to stand to keep in the potty, it is different every time. Try holding up your pants legs so they do not touch the floor but keeping your pants down and out of the way so they stay dry.

Getting to the train was a whole new adventure. We had to go down a long flight of stairs with two suit cases each. They are on wheels but there are a lot of people and no room to move. We put the suitcases one on top of the other but on the stairs they would not stay. We were getting worried about missing our train when we rounded  a corner only to find out we needed to go right back up the same length of stairs! It was quite the workout but we made it. The ride was only 45 mins.  The ride was very smooth. It was dark out so we could not see the sights.

Emma was waiting for us when we got off the train. It was nice to have help again. She got a taxi and while driving to the hotel she talked about what we would be doing the next day and the time that we would meet. We would be meeting at 8:20 in the lobby and travel a short distance by taxi to the Civil Affairs Office to wait for Cora.

The hotel was very nice and after calling home to let them know we were safe we went to bed. Well, not exactly right to bed. I had to put together the children’s backpacks and stuff them with gifts and then put together the nannies gifts. I still had to put together what I wanted to bring for Cora. It felt like forever before we went to bed but at least we were so tired that the worry about the next day did not keep me up all night.

I am so close to finally holding my daughter!

Sorry no posts while in China!

We were not able to post while in China. Once we were home Cora decided that we should not be on the computer. She is very convincing when she knows what she wants. I will post the progress of our trip as if we were there so everyone can see how the adoption progressed as well as updates and pictures of how she is doing at home.

Cora is a very happy, busy girl and we are so glad that she is part of our lives!

On our way!

I can't believe that we are finally on the way! I am trying to get the finishing touches on our packing and then off to bed. We will be up early to make it to the airport on time. Two more days until Cora is finally ours!